Be with Mom All  Day, Not Just Hours

On Mother’s Day, make sure to treat your Mom the whole day, not just for a few hours because she stayed with you since you were a fetus and maybe, until her last productive days here on Earth.

At least this is what Grace Fornier Magno, Vice President for corporate marketing of SM Supermalls, advised families, especially with mothers who have supported them all their lives.

She knows because she has been a mother since 1989, which she says “seems forever. Maybe in a previous life, I already knew my three children—Petra, Victoria and Stanley,” in an interview with Village Connect.

What the annual celebration of mother’s day is for Grace is: “No one in this world has no mother – even if your birth mother wasn’t good to you, even abandoned you, her gift to you was life in all its richness and beauty. We celebrate the women who made life happen, and who keep the world turning!”

She confesses though that she

is not the typical one-day celebration kind of mom. “I enjoy special things on ordinary days and do not expect my children to do anything extra special on Mother’s Day. So every year, they try to surprise me but they must know, they do not need to. They are special enough and such gifts to me.”

But how does her children treat her on Mother’s Day? She retorts: “My eldest daughter is a poet and a senior copywriter in New York City and her notes make me cry, my second daughter sends me funny memes and my son makes sure they all get toge-ther to give me flowers, cake and gifts. He’s the youngest but the kuya in many ways. “

Whether she looks forward to Mother’s Day each year, Grace says “What I love about Mother’s Day is when I see other moms getting gifts and flowers and going out to eat with their families. It makes me happy to know that this country loves moms.”

She has no children who are parents themselves now. “None of my children are married nor have kids and I always tell them—motherhood is a serious business, if you can’t be a good one, don’t be one. Many childhood traumas come from bad parenting and mothers who were abusive or too neglectful. And because motherhood never ends—even if your children are senior citizens themselves—you will forever feel your kids’ pains and hurts and failures, but also their triumphs and suc-cesses.”

Her typical Mother’s Day begins with a Sunday mass, which is a must to her family. “To see moms being blessed by priests after mass is touching. I think a good Mother’s Day starts with mass, then lunch out at SM, then taking mom shopping or going to a salon for a hair treatment then merienda, dinner and a movie. Sagarin nyo na kasi once a year lang naman, for many kids and more moms!”

The part she appreciates most about motherhood is “when you see your adult children have good values—honesty, integrity, love for others, compassion, a good work ethic, respect and care for the environment—that’s when you know you did your job well. When they overcome difficulties by themselves and get over heartaches or can stand on their own – that’s very fulfilling for a mom.”

As to her measure of a successful mother with children is, “Watching your children grow into respectable members of society who contribute to the greater good, who have good inner values and can live independently in relative comfort and then later, they can take care of others themselves—that’s my measure of     success. They say a mom’s job is to make sure their children go to heaven. I say it’s to make sure their  children contribute to hea-ven right here on earth.:

She keeps in touch more often with her daughters in NYC than when they are here. “We FaceTime, we hold long conversations online and I try to see them once a year in person. My son lives a few blocks down the road from our home but he eats in the house often and visits on Sundays or at least once a week. I think it’s a privilege and an honor to hear your adult children say:  “Mom I need your opinion on something that’s important to me.” That’s how you know you have value and will always have value to them. That the true gift of motherhood.”

Grace is a storyteller who considers herself privileged to work for SM Supermalls with its many fun, interesting and relevant stories to tell. She graduated at Ateneo with a BA in Communication Arts and a Master’s Degree in Loyola School of Theology.

By Rose de la Cruz